The idea might sound strange but being able to say ‘no’ is fundamental to any scheme of Time Management.
Yes you have the master plan for time management, you have everything worked out, you have a time table which you stick to religiously, and you have a ‘to do’ list as well. But just when things are beginning to work out fine, a colleague or friend comes your way and asks you to help them out by doing certain jobs which are really their jobs.
The person smiles very sweetly at you and showers sugar coated words on you, and before you even know what hit you, you have said yes and agreed to do the work for the person. Now what is the relevance of your well thought out timetable? Where is your scheme for time management? Your work is waiting in the pantry while you are sweating over somebody else’s work. And it’s because of the simple reason that you could not say no to the person. How many times have you had a similar experience?
I’m not saying that you should not be civil. If you find a colleague in distress and have the time to spare, by all means help the person. Who knows, tomorrow you might be in that persons position and you may need somebody’s help.
But that does not mean that you should let yourself be taken for a ride. If you are going to help a person at the expense of your work and schedule, then you are going to end up in hot water. It is human nature to shirk work and if word gets around that you are a very helpful guy (read that as s-u-c-k-e-r) then before you know it, requests for help will be coming from all sides.
Unless you want to take up from where Mother Theresa left off, you had better put your foot down and say “sorry boss, but I just don’t have the time.” Behave like a diplomat. I remember reading somewhere that a diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a nice manner that you will actually start looking forward to the trip. I also came across the definition that a diplomat is a person who can say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
So that is just what you have to do. Done the mask of the diplomat and the next time someone approaches you with sugar coated requests to help them out, smile back at them. Give them a sugary sickly sweet smile. So much that anyone in their normal senses would want to throw up at the sight of your smile.
Then you could try telling them how much you love them. Extol at length what you think of the person and your relationship with him or her. And then tell them that what you are going to say is going to be a life long sorrow for you. It is something that will plunge you into the depths of despair and all that. And then put it painfully across, “no, I’m terribly sorry but N-O.”
And then when the person leaves your presence with a crest fallen face, wait till he or she is out of hearing range and then you can start that war dance. Or if you want you could try the hoola hoola.
Common face the facts, in today’s world of cut throat competition your very existence may depend on your ability to say “no.”
And its miles better being a selfish pig than a sucker.
Labels: saying no, time management